The Season of NO

Why it's okay to be in a season of NO and how it can benefit you.


I’ve heard so many times that “No is a complete sentence” but haven’t really used it nearly as much as I should. I have learned the error of my ways and am slowly adopting this spirit of the “Season of NO”. I know sounds contrary to the Year of Yes from Shonda Rhimes but it’s actually very similar. (And I do mean to read the book soon because friends have raved over it.)

My Season of NO means saying NO to anything that my spirit doesn’t immediately say YES to. It means that I’ve been saying NO to a lot more in life than I’m saying YES to. I started out slowly and it’s feeling much better to say.

This summer, I agreed to do something with a friend. The whole conversation, I was feeling weighted down and knowing that this wasn’t what I wanted to do; at least not right now.

I left the conversation with a next step.

I thought I was doing the right thing by honoring a commitment to something we had talked about a while ago; what I realized about it was I was doing the wrong, wrong, wrong thing by not being honest with her.

As soon as I could, I called her back and told her I couldn’t do it; not right now.

She said that was fine and I think appreciated my honesty.

What you don’t do determines what you can do.

Today, I told another friend “No.” and she said that I just told her “NO” with no explanation or other commentary (it was an email exchange.) When we talked I told her that I don’t want to have any responsibilities, I just want to be free to do as I wished with my time.

So how is this similar to the Year of Yes?

Every time I’m saying NO, I’m freeing myself for the things I really want to say yes to.

I want to have brunch with friends and go to birthday parties. Before, I felt too tired and busy to do those things because I was split in so many different directions. Now, I’m not nearly as tired and have the ability to really spend time with friends building new relationships. I’m working out more. I’ve taken a Get Golf Ready 4 Week Session; I’m taking a weekly yoga class and actually making it there every week.

I haven’t left my Mocha Moms. I still love those ladies. I am still in Junior League of Atlanta and continuing my placement for the year. BUT I am saying yes to playing outside with my sons more. I’m saying yes to going to sleep at a reasonable hour. I’m just saying yes to so many things that I really wanted/needed to do before!

We need to learn the slow ‘yes’ and the quick ‘no.’

I’m still a recovering YES without thinking person but I promise that I’m getting better! It’s not that I don’t want to really be involved or do the things I used to do. I really still do but I realize that as much as I do, there are some other things that I want/need the time to explore. I highly doubt that the Nos are going to last forever. I believe it’s just this season of NO for me. I admit it feels really good and I’m going to keep it up for a while.

Are you in the Year of Yes or Season of No? Are you happy there? If not, I recommend that you make a change to make you happy!


  1. says

    Wooooooo! Those no’s can be tough but they are so necessary! Sometimes I wasnt to do nothing. People are like, “what else is on your plate?” I’m like, “nothing, and I want it to stay that way.” Sitting on my bed eating banana pudding and watching the Voice is important self care, that those “no’s” make room for.

    • KendraKendra says

      You are so silly…I need a good banana pudding to eat but yes, I’m all about nothing with a crazy day like the one I’m gearing up for today!

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